goodbye

I miss the thought of eternal sunshine,

The warmth of an embrace

The tenderness a kiss leaves behind,

The ache of yearning as you press your body along the roots that stem along the arch of your back..

But it’s all really a mirage, this captured moment time capsuled all together intricately for me to play over and over… because it was never real.

When you called me it was only for favors, when you begged me it was for your needs and when I asked over and over for compromise… you ignored my wishes and disarmed my detection to activate the alarm.

Your kind of a master manipulator and at first I didn’t want to believe I could be fooled, I allowed you the role of puppeteer;

I handed over the keys to the lock that safe guarded my emptiness that my heart has swollen shut for more years than I can count

And brutally you butchered my confidence to make me feel like I was nothing.

You took my smile and tarnished it with anger, you carried my hope in a knapsack of rage and you shook me and created doubt on who I am and always will be.

I am brilliant and resilient and worthy. I worked too damn hard for too damn long to forget that before you I bent over backwards to build my own self esteem from nothing up.

And if looks could kill, you ran me over more than twice . And honestly darling looks aren’t everything . All I see now is ugly, disgust, and narcissism smeared all along your face.

As much as I hate to say this;

I wish you would have been better. I wish you could have seen the potential I saw in you; I wish I hadn’t spent 423 day in your mediocracy ; I wish I said good bye sooner because today wouldn’t have had so bad when I banished you away.

Good bye, good luck, and I meant it when I said I wasnt going to stay.